Kelly and Trevor's wedding ritual

September 17th

This is the script for our wedding ceremony. Kelly played the role of yang and Trevor played the role of yin. The trigrams/elements were

• Fergus and Edie as heaven and earth
• Sonja and Michelle as thunder and wind
• Brandon and Alicia as water and fire
• Jeff and Sam as mountain and lake

Preamble

Trevor and Kelly under pavilion: Explain what to expect during the ritual. Tell Folks to line up in front of Brandi or Stephen, ask them to move toward the back of the circle continually filling it out as people come in. Elements assist in telling people to keep moving.

[Brandi and Stephen Bless them with salt water and sprig of juniper.]

[When folks gather folks in circle, Kelly and Trevor enter last and grab the black and white flags and go to center.]

Circle Cast

[This will be said while starting in the middle moving around the circle, then back to the middle.]
Kelly and Trevor together: Start with Tao. Tao is the way. Tao is oneness. Tao is all. Tao is formless.
Split Tao in two. [Speaking together, walking away to north and south]
Kelly: Yang is the light, the firm, the creative, the masculine.
Trevor: Yin is the dark, the yielding, the receptive, the feminine.
Together: With transition, two become four. [Walking toward east and west in opposite directions around circle.]
Kelly: Yang becomes Yin. (hands move from outside to center. )
Trevor: Yin becomes Yang. (Hands moving out from center, to outside)
Kelly: Yang remains Yang. (Hands make circle out to sides)
Trevor: Yin remains Yin. (Hands make circle motion in center)
Kelly: Yang becomes Yin. (hands move from outside to center. )
Trevor: Yin becomes Yang. (Hands moving out from center, to outside)
Kelly: Yang remains Yang. (Hands make circle out to sides)
Trevor: Yin remains Yin. (Hands make circle motion in center)
[Walk to the center of the circle.]
Together: Four become eight, each with three parts yin or yang, creating the trigrams.
Trevor: These eight trigrams are represented by flags you see around you and the people in our lives we chose to represent them.

[Each element in turn steps forward and speaks:]
Fergus: Heaven is the supreme yang, creative and giving.
May you be unified and firm.
Kelly and Trevor: We commit to being unified and firm.
Edie: Earth is the supreme yin, receiving and nurturing.
May you be adaptable and yielding.
Kelly and Trevor: We commit to being adaptable and yielding
Sonja: Yang begins moving as thunder, the arousing, instigating.
May you take initiative and grow.
Kelly and Trevor: We commit to taking initiative and growing.
Michelle: Yin begins moving as wind, the gentle, guiding.
May you have insight and care.
Kelly and Trevor: We commit to having insight and care.
Brandon: Yang continues as water, the river’s abyss, dangerous.
May you navigate difficulties together.
Kelly and Trevor: We commit to navigating difficulties together.
Alicia: Yin continues as fire, clinging to its fuel, shining light.
May you depend on one another.
Kelly and Trevor: We commit to depending on each other.
Jeff: Yang finishes as mountain, keeping still, watching.
May you be reliable and steadfast.
Kelly and Trevor: We commit to being reliable and steadfast.
Sam: Yin finishes as lake, joyous, speaking and laughing.
May your union overflow with pleasure.
Kelly and Trevor: We commit to a pleasureable overflowing.

Setting intention: Why are we getting married?

Kelly: So… why do you want to marry me?
Trevor: That’s a good question, because how will you know without asking?
I want to marry you because…

• You share your whole truth with me
• You care for me, you care for others, and you care for society
• You practice and celebrate science
• Your body is really fun to squeeze
• You encourage and support me in my career, hobbies, and adventures
• You give me space when I need to go inward
• You listen well to humans and animals
• You’re a package deal with a wonderful cat
• You take initiative and get things done
• You look for humor and like to play
• You know your boundaries and aren’t afraid to assert them
• You will be a conscious and collaborative parent if we decide to have kids
• You encourage me to relax and eliminate stress
• You balance my mix of yin and yang energies
• You give when I need to receive and you receive when I give
• You show me love in so many ways

Trevor: So… why do you want to marry me?
Kelly:

• You have a really cool last name.
• You drag me kicking and screaming into doing some really cool things.
• Every time I hear about my friend’s relationship problems, I appreciate our relationship even more.
• You accept me as I am, and support me in being me.
• You encourage me to tell you how I feel about things.
• You support my career and encourage me to grow.
• I love you.
• You take care of my cat and she loves you too.
• I know you have more reasons that me, but I don’t think I need anymore reasons to know why I should marry you.

Movement and blessings

[Trevor and Kelly explain the divisions of the sections by standing back to back to rotate starting at heaven explains each section between each of the flags then they Explain the movement “Right and left through” describes two lines of people passing by each other by extending, in alternation, their right hand and then left hand to each successive person in the oncoming line, passing by the shoulder. Those of you who have chairs may stay seated. Parents are free to take their children to the park playground to release any energy this stirs up.]

[Edie and Fergus each have one circle segment take hands and lead them to the center.]
Edie and Fergus: [Deliver a blessing of your own choosing]
[Edie and Fergus lead their lines of people to the other side of the circle with a right and left through.]
[Michelle and Sonja each have one circle segment take hands and lead them to the center.]
Michelle and Sonja: [Deliver a blessing of your own choosing]
[Michelle and Sonja lead their lines of people to the other side of the circle with a right and left through.]
[Alicia and Brandon each have one circle segment take hands and lead them to the center.]
Alicia and Brandon: [Deliver a blessing of your own choosing]
[Alicia and Brandon lead their lines of people to the other side of the circle with a right and left through.]
[Jeff and Sam each have one circle segment take hands and lead them to the center.]
Jeff and Sam: [Deliver a blessing of your own choosing]
[Jeff and Sam lead their lines of people to the other side of the circle with a right and left through.]

Vows

Kelly: Will you respect my boundaries and hear my voice when I communicate with you?
Trevor: I will respect your boundaries and hear your voice.
Trevor: Will you support me and care for me?
Kelly: I will support and care for you, if you let me!
Kelly: Will you accept me as I change and then accept me as I am?
Trevor: I will accept you as you are, as you shall be, and as you always were.
Trevor: Will you join me in crazy adventures?
Kelly: Yes, as long as I can have a safe place to call home.
Kelly: Will you care for Joan and future offspring as much as I do?
Trevor: I will nurture all your offspring, both human and feline.
Trevor: Will you ground, center, and connect with me on a regular basis?
Kelly: I will ground, center and connect with you on a regular basis.
Kelly: Do you consent to being my honest, open, loving, partner?
Trevor: I do consent to be your honest, open, and loving partner.
Trevor: Do you consent to be my partner in chaos and calm, winter and summer, dark and light?
Kelly: I do consent to be your partner in chaos and calm, winter and summer, dark and light.

Ring Exchange and Declaration

Kelly and Trevor: Will the ring bearers step forward and hand us the rings?
[Owen and Jack bring rings]
[Kelly: Place ring on Trevor’s finger.]
Kelly: This ring is a symbol of my commitment.
[Trevor: Place ring on Kelly’s finger.]
Trevor: This ring is a symbol of my commitment.
In unison: We now declare ourselves United! We may now kiss each other.
[Make out]

Conclusion

Tell people about pie, coffee, receiving line, reception at 6. Encourage people to dance with the dragon.
Do pie cutting, then eat, then receiving line.
After volunteers get pie, start breaking down flags, and once pie is mostly over, start breaking down pie and clean up. Load food into another car to take back to house.